How this reaches an answer

This service uses the timing pattern of a noise to work out which class of source it belongs to: a single point on the record, the equipment as a whole, something to do with mains electricity, or nothing wrong at all.

The match is a lookup against a fixed table of timing patterns, and it runs in your browser. That means the same description always produces the same answer, the reasoning can be stated in words, and it works with no connection.

Where a language model is involved at all, it is only to turn loose free text into one of the descriptions the table already holds. A model never decides which class a noise belongs to.

When that is what the service finds, it says so explicitly and at the same weight as any other answer. It is not tucked away, not softened, not given a warning colour and not left behind a paywall.

A tool of this kind that cannot say “this is normal” is just a machine for manufacturing worry.

This service assigns no condition grade, no score and no valuation. Second-hand trading has its own established grading conventions; this service neither replaces them nor produces anything citable against them. It covers no price, no market and no trading matter.

Its output must not be used to return an item, make a claim or a complaint, publicly review a seller, or as evidence in any buying or selling dispute. See the acceptable use policy, where that is set out as an express prohibition.

This service teaches no equipment adjustment and no dismantling. It gives no figures and no steps for tracking force, anti-skate, azimuth or any similar setting.

Where it says that cleaning can change a class of noise, it does not say how to clean anything.

This service mentions no record, artist, work, label, pressing or equipment brand. It holds no data of that kind — there is no such table in it — and it makes no claim that any particular pressing tends to have any particular problem.

A claim like that would have nothing behind it, and it would damage named companies and named work on the strength of nothing.

This service accepts no uploads: neither recordings nor photographs. There are three reasons, and none of them is technical difficulty.

• The decisive information is where the record has turned to when the noise occurs, and a recording carries no such reference. A noise every 1.8 seconds and a noise every 2.4 seconds sound alike and mean completely different things — the recording does not contain what separates them.
• Drawing a conclusion from a recording would be passing judgement on the condition of your copy, which this service does not do.
• Uploading a recording would send everything else in your room along with it.

• The actual condition of the copy in your hands. Nothing here has seen it, and no grade, score or judgement of it is produced.
• Your equipment — what it is, how it is set up, or how it is behaving today.
• Your room, and what else in it might be making a sound.

Every reading states these on the face of it. They are not a disclaimer bolted on afterwards; they are part of the answer.

A reading is an interpretation of what you have described, not a measurement of your record. If the description is incomplete or the timing has been misheard, the reading will follow it faithfully into the wrong class.

Treat it as a way of narrowing down who to ask, and check anything that matters with someone who can see the thing in front of them.

Nothing in this notice excludes or limits your statutory rights. Under the Consumer Rights Act 2015 digital content must be of satisfactory quality, fit for any purpose you told us about, and as described, and no contract term may take those rights away. See the terms.

Do not use this service for medical, legal, financial, safety, employment, credit, housing or judicial decisions.

What you write is used to answer you and nothing else. It is not used to train any model, ours or anyone else’s. See the privacy notice.

Questions about any of this: support@scotchbon.shop.